Confessions

I have been contemplating writing this post all morning. I have even started it a couple of times then hit delete cause it wasnt going in the direction I wanted it to.

I think after the first of the year I am going to delete my blog. Over the past few months I have read alot of great blogs and the girls behind them take up alot of time and patience with their blogs. I do not have a computer at home and do all my blogging at work.

i feel like my blog is plain and boring. I dont have alot of fun stuff and hardly ever take pictures. I feel like nobody really can get interested in my blog.

I confess that I started my blog cause I fell in love with reading blogs and wanted to become friends with a bunch of the girls. I know that wasnt a good reason to start a blog but I thought the blog world was a good way to meet some new friends.

I have enjoyed the blog world alot and have had the pleasure of talking to some girls and also the blog world has helped teach me abunch and I will prob continue to read the blogs I follow. Just think its pointless to have my own blog.

Anyway just wanted my few readers to know what I was feeling today. I am going to think on it this weekend. I will def let yall know what I decide.

Christmas Recap!!!

Well hello ladies!!!! I feel like I am still in Christmas mode. I hate how ever year it seems like it takes forever for Christmas to get here but dang it it is gone in a flash.

A few post back I talked about how I dreaded the holidays and how I have ever since my parents got divorced. Well ladies that changed this year thanks to my wonderful boyfriend. I had the BEST Christmas ever!!!! And YEPPERS I am here to brag all about it.

So lets go back to last Friday shall we. OK!! I had to come in to work that morning BOOOO!!! but thankfully I only had to work til dinner YAY!!! Well at 12 I left work and went to my best friend/ex roomate Jacob's house and had Christmas with him. He grilled some chicken and we had corn and baked potato. The food was delicious and I ate everything that was on my plate. After eating we exchanged gifts!!!! He did so good this year. He got me a karaokee machine. So much fun!!! He also got me 3 karaokee cds ( Carrie Underwood, Elvis, & Zac Brown Band) which happened to be 3 of my fav artists. I got him two & a half men season 8 dvd, smashing pumpkins boxset, and a framed picture of me, him, and Lizzie. After opening gifts we acourse played with the karaoke machine for like 3 hours hahaha our throats were sore when we got done. Around 4 I said goodbye to Jacob and headed home.

Around 6 Friday night Jeremy and I headed to his parents house. I am not sure if I previously mentioned but Jeremy's parents only live like 4 minutes if that far from our house so we get to spend alot of time with them. So back on track, we went to Jeremy's parents and his sister and nephew were there also. We all ate chili and hot dogs and then we all loaded up and rode around and looked at all of the Christmas lights. It was so much fun just hanging out and laughing. It was close to 8:30 that we all decided to go home. Jeremy and I got home and was so excited cuase we were doing our stockings and Lizzies stocking Saturday morning. So we were in the bed by 9:30.

Saturday morning we got up at 6 in the MORNING!!! Why?? Cause we were so excited about doing our stockings hahaha. Lizzie was so funny she didnt know what to think about all of her new toys. After we opened out stockings I fixed breakfast and coffee and we both got on the couches and watched the movie Soul Surfer. OMG such a good movie and a tear jerker. We both cried!!! Yes you read that right even Jeremy shed a few tears. Around 9 I got up and started getting ready for my family to arrive. I had decided to have Christmas with them at my house and I have no idea why. Around 11 my sister and nephew arrived, my brother in law was at work, acourse my nephew tortured Lizzie til she peed all over herself and we had to go put her up. I got aggravated cause my sister wouldnt make my nephew act right. When my mom and stepdad got there we all sat around the table and ate. Acourse my sister and mom and biggered and argued back and forth the ENTIRE time. We opened gifts and my mom and stepdad got me and Jeremy a WII!!!! YIPEE!!! we were so excited cause we had already decidded that after the first of the year we wanted to get one. Acourse we got other stuff from them to. They really did way to much for us but we loved everything.

Around 3, my family left which I dont think I could have taken much more of my sister and mom argueing back and forth. Jeremy and I cleaned up and headed to his sister around four. We had Christmas with Jeremy's dad side of the family. It was a good time for the most part acourse ever family had its dysfunctional members. Jeremy's grandmother sat by me and told me stories about when she was growing up and I enjoyed that. She def makes me miss my grandmaw. After almost everyone left, Jeremy sister, his nephew and his parents and us to all got in the living and played Just Dance 3. I had never laughed so hard in my life. I thought I was a pretty good dancer but umm that game proved me I was wrong.

Sunday morning Jeremy and I got up and headed to his parents house around 9 to exchange gifts with his parents, sister, and nephew. I really enjoyed that time cause my family use to get together like that and smile and laugh before my parents got divorced. It was a precious moment to me cause made me realize I actually had a family again. Acourse Jeremy's family out did thereself to. Got us so much stuff that I know you dont want me to name all of it. But it was all stuff we needed for our new home. Sunday at lunch with Jeremy's mom family. Jeremy's granny got me and him matching pajama set. It was so cute and sweet and we really enjoyed our time with them. After lunch me and Jeremy headed home and I took a nap while Jeremy played the WII.

Sunday night Jeremy and I had his parents and sister over for family game night. OMG SO MUCH FUN!!! I had a bunch of candy and rotel dip fixed. WE all had cocktails and wine. We played skip bo at first then we played dominos. I laughed so hard and so much that my stomach muscles were hurting. We played games from 7-midnight. Again it was precious to me and I just took all of it in cause I have been dreaming of having a family and I finally have it. It was also sweet cuase earlier in the year me and Jeremy's sister had a miscommunication and wasnt on speaking terms and well his parents got involved and it was a mess for a while. Alot of feelings hurt and me and Jeremy almost called it quits. But we all love each other to much and we put the past in the past and now we are a stronger family than ever before. I just wish my parents and sister could move forward but I give up on them.

Monday was a rainy icky day!! So me and Jeremy played the wii all day long and had so much fun. We did manage to put all the gifts up and clean the mess in kitchen up and wash 2 loads of clothes but for the most part it was just playing the wii.

Whew if you are still reading this WOW!!! I know we had a busy Christmas but it was honestly the best that I have had in forever. I cant remember the last time my Christmas was this good. Jeremy is such a blessing in my life. I know that God sent him to me. God is still working in my life and so thankful that he never gave up n me when I know I have done alot of rotten things in my life and be rotten to alot of poeple. BUT God forgives and moves on and it is never to late to start over.

I have fully enjoyed reading about all of yalls Christmas we all have so many blessings in our life. Hope you all have a Happy New Year also. I am getting all my thankyou cards writen this week and ready to bring in the New Year cause got alot of things I want to accomplish this year 

Twas the night before Christmas Eve. . . .

Just wanted to drop real fast and wish all my fellow bloggers a very

MERRY CHRISTMAS

and remember the reason for the season.

Random Babble!!!!

It is CRAZY this week.

Confession to yall I was in such a hurry yesterday morning that I got in my car and got 10 minutes down the road and realized. . . .  Are you ready for this?!?! I forgot to brush my teeth!!!! GROSS!!!! I know I went all day yesterday stinky breath. Hey times are tough I was not about to go spend 5 dollars on a new toothbrush so I kept pepperment in my mouth all day.

So during lunch I ran to walmart to get stuff to make all my Christmas goodies and to get stuff for Jeremy's stocking. guess one everything on my list to get for Jeremy's stocking was OUT OF STOCK!!!! I had a melt down in walmart. When I say melt down I got doen in the floor kicking and screaming hahahahaha NAWP I didnt I did shed a tear though and think my heart skipped a few beats. I did get everything I needed to fix for the holidays.

My boss took the afternoon offto go hunting so this girl worked her lil heart out yesterday. NAWP!!! I didnt do that either I actually read my book all afternoon. Dont judge me everybody needs a slack day at work right?!?!

After work I went home and got in my pjs and in the kitchen I went. I cooked 2 sausage pinwheels, made some pretzel thinga- my-bobs, and started a batch of oreo balls. All of these receipes I got off of pinterest. I also managed to wash a load of clothes. I was so proud of myself for all I got done last night. I am usually one of these peeps that waits to the night before and 4 hours before I need to have something done to do it then I get stressed out and drink a whole bottle of wine in the process. I told myself this year that I wasnt going to do that and well I got most of my food done and I dont have to have it done til Saturday.


Jeremy was so funny while I was cooking he was in the living room watching tv. He said can you please slow down. I said what is wrong?? He said you are making me so sleeping just watching you. insert him yawning here hahahahaha. He then said can I do something to help you?? I said yes babe can you put the clothes in the dryer. He said WHAT!?!?! you been washing clothes to Babe you are super woman.

I just think he is the sweetest. I mean he always knows how to get me to laugh when I need it and even when I just want to cry he has the abilit of to make me laugh.

I am so sad cause after this week I cant jam out to Christmas music anymore. Like I might actually cry.

I just realized while typing this that I dont think I put deo on today OOPS but dangit I did remember my teefies this morning. I still have minty breath.

Christmas Time

Whew is it really only Tuesday?!?!

Ok so yesterday was a miserable day for me I really hate with the monster hits. I always get terrible headaches :( no cramping or anything just HEADACHES!!!! So needless to say yesterday was headache day!!

After work I rushed home got in my pjs ASAP and got on the couch with my Lizzie Mae!!! I did not move til I decided to get in the bed. Poor Jeremy got everything for me:) Im a very lucky girl.

I know you are dieing to know what we watched on tv. Well thanks for asking:) We watched Home Alone (which this movie never gets old) and we also watched the Goonies. Ok so Jeremy thinks its so funny that I had never seen that movie til last night?!? It was a cute movie from what I actually watched lol I was busy playing on my facebook. Dont tell on me Pahlease;)

Today I am feeling much better just wish I was at home cooking for this weekend instead of at work. BUT I am at least looking forward to going home and cooking.

I have noticed alot of bloggers have been sharing all there Christmas decorations. Well a few post back I shared my tree (halfway decorated) and my fireplace. Well I thought I would share it again all finished. Dont get excited cause it is nothing. We are on a budget this year. We are having to buy stuff for the new house so Christmas decorating was limited to what we already had plus one trip to the dollar store.

I love how our outside turned out :)  Well considering if you saw what our neighbors yard looked like. Sorry for the quality this are taken from my phone.  Alot of people go all out for Christmas and the decorating I usually do but I am glad of what we did this year. It isnt alot but its enough for us.

I hope you all have a great Christmas with the ones you love!!!! I am thankful afor the few friends that i have talked to since starting my blog.

I have to share this picture of Lizzie Mae this weekend:) She got to open one of her gifts early and well she loved the unwrapping process.

Weekend Recap!!!!

Hello ladies!!! I survived the weekend:) and I must say Christmas has kicked into high gear at our house.

Friday- well I really dont want to recap this day cause after my post the day went to the birds. It stunk big time. Christmas isnt being nice to my pocketbook this year. So when I saw my balance I got all sad then I went to the mailbox and well I ran into a girl who hates me and got the evil stare down. This just sent me more into depression. I go home thinking the day will get better cause I was thinking I had already had all I could take. Well God thought I could take a lil more. Jeremy and I are talking about when we will be able to do our Christmas together. He starts asking me about gifts and UGH I left it slip that his was a game that I wanted to play with him. EEK!!!! I lose my composure then I go into a depression of crying and making weird noises. After that I went straight to bed and finished reading  a book that I started like 4 months ago and early to bed for me.

Saturday morning I woke up and the monster suprised me early!!!! YAY!!!! just how I wanted to start my morning off. I got my cup of coffee and had a lil alone time with God. After 2 cups of coffee, talk with God, and watching some Live with Kelly!! I was ready to tackle the day. So at 9 that morning yes I got up at 7. ( I know I am like a 70 year old) Anyway me and Jeremy decided to do our Christmas together this morning cause next weekend is going to be so busy and we wanted to enjoy our time together. I got everything I had asked for plus more. I was so blessed for all Jeremy got me and he was very happy with his gifts to.

After opening gifts we both got showered and dressed and out the door to jackson we go. We had to go shopping to finish up our Christmas list. I literally prayed the whole way day there for God to give me patience cause I didnt want to spend Christmas in jail. When we got to Jackson we first stopped at Firehouse sub to eat lunch and get fueled up for our shopping. When we got to the mall and parked which might I add that our parking spot was right at the door. YAY!!!!! We both said a lil prayer and we went in Old Navy and Kirklands and had great success and we never once got stressed and every time we went to get in line to check out we always were the second people in line. Thank you sweet baby jesus!!!

On the way home I told Jeremy I know now why I had such a bad day yesterday its so I could have a great day today:) God knew exactly what he was doing but I still questioned him. Saturday night after we got home we had a wrapping party!!! We got all our presents wrapped and under the tree. We then settled in and watched the Hangover 2!!!!

Sunday was a lazy day kinda I got up watched the sheets, we did our grocery shopping for the week, I finally got my closet organized WOOHOO!!! Jeremy watched football and I laid on the couch and started reading The HELP!!!! I really have enjoyed it already and really want to watch the movie. We did go to my sisters church and watch her and my nephew participate in the Christmas program.

Is anyone else watching Kim and Kourtney take New York?? Well I really dont like Kim now. I feel like she is a spoiled brat. I mean yes Kris isnt just the perfect gentleman but I dont think everyone should point fingers at him cause Kim is sure not a princess. Jeremy told me that he was so glad that I ddint act like her cause he would go crazy.

Anyway. . . that is my weekend recap. I was going to say if anyone who I actually have talked to from the blog world wants to be my friend on facebook that you more than welcome to look me up. Just shoot me a email and I will let you know my last night so you can look me up. I am constantly uploading pictures on there cause well that is something I know how to do:)

Know off to tackle the week cause I am ready for some Christmas fun and FOOD!!!!

Did you miss me?!?!

Why hello there?!?! DO you remember me?

Sorry for the missing in action I have been keeping up with my fav blogs but just havent been able to get focused on writing. I know good lord. My mind has been in overload. I  am really getting into making a New Years resolution and sticking to it. So often so many people make them but never stick to them.

Ok so let me see what you have missed in my life this week. . . . . .

Well I had another great weekend. My friend Lindsey came to stay Friday night. It is always a great time when she comes around. The boyfriend grilled chicken for us, we all sat outside around a fire and chatted, and even played 2 rounds of cars before calling it a night. It was a very fun relaxing night.

Saturday, I woke up in work mode!!! I dusted the entire house, swept and mopped the floors, washed and folded clothes, and finally finished my christmas decorations YAY!!!! I even squeezed in a hour nap!!! Saturday night Jeremy took me out to this lil bbq restaurant in Koscisko that I love. After we ate he took me around the town to see all the Christmas lights. I swear it feels so good to be with somebody who does stuff for you without having to ask. We went home and got in our pjs and settled in the living room and watched the movie Friends with Benefits. I enjoyed this movie!! I mean I think it ws predictable I knew what was going to happen but I love movies that make me laugh and cry.

Sunday I woke up feeling like I was getting the flu. BOOOOOO!!!! So it was a day of staying in the bed all day long which I hate doing. Poor Jeremy had his hands full with me cause I whined alot. OOPS I know that is so bad but I hate being lazy. I could never be a stay at home mom, wife, or girlfriend. No offense to people who are I just cant be that person.

Monday I woke up still sick. I got up and tried to get ready for work but passed out in the shower EEK!!! scared the poop out of me. So I called in sick which I hate doing and hardly never do and got back in the bed with Lizzie. And thats all I can say about my Monday!!!!

The rest of the week has been catch up. UGH!!! After spendningtwo days in the bed and missing a day of work. WHEW this girl has been busy but so thankful to feel better. I am so thankful that it is Friday cause I am ready for a weekend with the boyfriend and my Lizzie Mae. Tonight we are just going to chill around the house. Tomorrow is a day of shopping. We have most of our Christmas shopping done but we got a few more to do. I cant believe that next weekend is Christmas:)) I am so ready for it cause me and Jeremy are stinking at waiting.I have already open one of my presents from him and he opened one of his hahahaha We are like a bunch of kids. We even let Lizzie have one of her Christmas presents last night and she was so funny with the wrapping paper.

Hope my blogger friends have had a great week!!! Be blessed!!!

Being kind!!!

I am my own worst enemy and have been for years. I think it comes from not wanting to be like my parents or my family. They all are very selfish people and I refuse to be selfish therefore I am mean to myself alot. I down myself and I never let myself think good of myself. Is this healthy?!? Prob not is it normal?!?! NOPE but I am not normal at all just look at the name of my blog.

Anyone who knows me is always telling me I have to big of a heart. REALLY?!?! I dont think that is possible. I will def be a lil selfish and say yeah I do. Let me give you a few examples.

1. a dead animal- I am the one that crys when I see a dead animal in the road and I pray that poor creature didnt suffer.
2. Kim Kardashian- everyone is tearing her apart. I feel bad for her cause we dont know the whole story and who are we to judge her just by what we hear. I am divorced so if people want to look down on her then look down on me to
3. Houston nutt- I am not an Ole miss fan at all. I feel so bad for him cause he is just a normal guy who lost his job. he had a few bad seasons and well everybody tore him apart and said rotten thinks about him and I just feel terrible for him.

Well last night the boyfriend took me to his offices annual Christmas party. Jeremy is always talking to me about Terry. I was looking forward to finally be able to put a face with the name that I hear so often in our home. I left the party last night with tears in my eyes cause I made a new friend. Terry is orginal from Michigan and that is where all his family is also he is here alone. He only gets to go to Michigan twice a year. It just broke my heart cause he is going to spend Christmas alone, and well think about it he spends almost all year alone. I couldnt imagine being alone today I def couldnt imagine at his age. I invited him to come to our house anytime so he could have some company and I told him I would cook for him. I got up this morning and fixed him a big plate full of letovers.

I am sure you are thinking where are you going with this. Well we all have troubles in life. Our car doesnt start, we woke up late for work, our parents irritate us. our hubby pissed us off this morning. Just imagine if you didnt have your parents near you or if you didnt have a hubby or a wife. I just asked that sometime during the holiday season you smile and speak to your elderly and especially pray for them. So many elderly get pushed to the side in this day and time. Trust me I know I overlook how important my grandpaw is. One day that will be all of us and wouldnt you like it if someone was nice to you.

I hope you all have a great weekend!!! Remember what the season is all about and dont get wrapped up in the giving and receiving but enjoy spending time with the ones you love cause you could be Terry who is giong to be spending it alone.

New Year!!!

Hello my peeps!!! Sorry I have MIA but trying to enjoy my new routine and still getting settled. I have alot of stuff going through my head today so I wanted to share with yall and have note of what I want to do and accomplish.

First off I am loving living with Jeremy it is even better than I imagined. We are learning new stuff about each other and making alot of memories together already and I havent even been there a week yet. Lizzie on the other hand is going through depression I think. She has always loved Jeremy but she has always been with me when she has been loving him. I am not able to go home for lunch anymore but Jeremy goes home at lunch and lets her out to stretch and play. You would think that Lizzie would love this but she doesnt understand why I am not the one letting her out. She whines and just lays in my chair depressed. She also does this in the afternoons until I get home then she goes WILD!!! It breaks my heart that she is having a hard time with the new house and the new adjustments. She has only lived in one place since she was 6 weeks old. Have any of you every moved and your dog ever got depressed???

Am I the only one that thinks its still August??? I mean seriously where did this year go?!?! I am def not complaining this year has been awesome in so many ways and I am ready to make 2012 even better. BUT!!!! I am so ready for the holidays to be over. GASP!!! I know I am shocked that I feel this way to casue I usually love Christmas time. I think its just cause so much has happened so fast in my life right here around the holidays so it has had me pretty stressed out. I just havent been very prepared this year as I usually am. It has been hard this year buying for everyone when we been trying to get adjusted into our home. Sorry I know it sounds like I am complaining and I am not I know God has blessed me but it has just all been very overwhelming.

Ok with all that said I have alot I want to accomplish in the new year and I want to list a few of them here so I can come back here and read them when I need reminding of what I want to do. So here we go!!!

1. I want to be physical active more. Like running, walking, working out, swimming, Anything besides lifting a spoon or fork to my mouth.
2. I want to be better at planning. I am such a procrastinator about everything. I want to make meal plans for the week and grocery list and plan birthdays a month in advice instead of the week of.
3. I want to read more. I use to love reading and always had a book in my hand. I want to try to read one book a month surely I can do that.
4. I want to be more crafty. I look on pinterest and love all the DIY crafts but I am always to scared to try it all. I want to stop being scared and just do it. I might actually be good at.
5. I want to strenghten my relationship with God. Everyone needs this.
6. I want to get more into cooking and baking. I feel like I am always cooking the same thing. I want to venture out more and take risk with cooking.
7. I want to work on my self esteem. I always feel like people arent going to like me. I feel like I am not pretty enough or not skinny enough. I know I am not fat but I am very insecure with myself and my body.

This is the main things on my mind lately that I want to work on. I could prob list things for days but I found it common that people overwhelm themself therefore they dont accomplish it at all. I want to accomplish things in life. If I have learned anything in 2011 is I can do anything I set my mind to as long as God is by my side. This year has been the best I can remember and its because I took risk and I fell flat on my butt a few times but I am happy and I am growing. 

Are there goals you want to meet in 2012?? If so let me know I might want to add the goals to my list.  

My weekend and TIme to Adjust!!!

Am I in a dream?!?!?

Good Morning. I am dragging so slow I mean it is Friday today right?!?! Where the hay did my weekend go?!?! Who stole it?!? WHEW!!! This weekend was so busy but so exciting.

I did get moved for everybody wondering and even got everything unpacked. This only happened so smoothly cause I threw so much stuff away. SHOCKER!!! This week is going to be a week worth of first for me and Jeremy which I am not going to lie I am so nervous. We will see each other EVERY day. I have so many what ifs going through my head. Jeremy and I have been together a year and a half. The first year of our relationship we just saw each other on the weekends and the last 6 months its been the weekends and on Wednesday nights. EEK!!! what if after this week he hates me. I know Im thinking crazy. This will also be the first week for me communting back and forth to work. I have always lived ten minutes from my job but NOW it takes me 30 minutes EEK!!! BIG adjustment there to me.

I feel so heavy on my heart this weekend and I have been having to have God really guide me cause I love Jeremy and I know I want to be with him.BUT this move has me so scared of screwing up again. I have already commented to a man before and it didnt end well at all. Yes I have changed alot since then and in my eyes those changes have been for the better. I just want to be the best girlfriend right now that I can be. So these next few weeks are going to be big adjustments on both me and Jeremy I know so if yall all dont mind please say a quick lil prayer for us.