A sweet email!!!!!

So yesterday I read a blog by All in my Twenties and it brought tears to my eyes cause I could really relate to her feelings. So I sat down and wrote her a email first off never expected a response because she doesnt even know me but I just felt lead to let her know that I needed to read that blog yesterday for I to have been going through similiar things in my life.

Well last night at bedtime I just could not get comfortable for nothing I read listened to music and nothing happened so I was late getting to sleep therefore this morning has just been so blah since my feet hit the floor. I get to work the bossman is in one of his talking moods and I am thinking ugh I just dont want to listen to him go on and on about his garden or his studio. Oh on top of this the monthly monster has hit to so you understand what kinda mood I am in. So I sit down at my desk open my email and there it is my sweet friend over at all in my twenties emailed me back. It just put a smile on my face cause she took the time out to respond to me a person she doesnt know and be so sweet back to me. I know you are thinking why in the world are you blogging about a girl that emailed you back for emailing her????

Let me tell you about where I am from and I dont know this might be how it is everywhere but bare with me. I am 25 years old and I have only one girlfriend who hasnt stabbed me in the back, lied to me, stolen my boyfriend, or turned on me. Oh and the one girlfriend I have isnt from here. Girls here are snakes and I swear its like they all are playing the big brother game cause all they are worried about is furthering themselfs in life. Its either your with them all the time listening to the drama they are in or well you are the one getting slammed and lied about cause you arent with them. Around here everybody is trying to keep up with the Jones well that is except me cause I am not rich nor do I pretend to be rich and sorry but most people in this town are fake. I can be myself in walmart see a girl and she not speak but let me and my boyfriend be in walmart and see the same girl and I promise you she is gonna make a point to speak.

Anyway you get the point I hope so this is why it is such a shocker to me when a girl I do not know takes the time to be nice to me back. She could have just ignored me or hit the delete button and never thought anything about it. But she didnt and for that she has turned my day around. So for that thank you so much!!!!

I hope everyone that reads this today has a blessed day!!!!!!

Today!!!!

I really stink at coming up with blog names hahahaha I look at others and they all cute and mine is blah
Anyway.. . Sorry that was random but I hope everyone had a marvelous Monday I did til 4:30 yes thats right thirty minutes before I get to go home for the day. For all of you that work in a office do you have that one client that just gets under your skin. Please say yes and make me feel normal ;) well that client bugged me from 4:30-4:50 ARGH!!!!!!!!!! When I say bugged me I mean he called said two words then hung up then call back 5 seconds later. I mean hello just tell me what you want in one phone call. Whew then after work I go to post office to check my mail box and its lock SIGH this idiot forgot to renew my box. Yes I know who forgets to pay ummmm this girl right here. So what did I do I layed down in the middle of the post office and had a temper tantrum fit hahahahahaha!!!!! NOT really even though that would have been funny to see the look on people's faces. I went to the tanning bed for a twenty minute quiet session and well nap time. I know its only twenty minutes but to me tanning bed naps are the best right????

So everyone has been talking about Pinterest. Well excuse everyone in the blog world that I follow. Down here in Carthage nobody knows what anything is except facebook. UGH facebook ok anyway well I am on Pinterest now got my invite last night and is it silly that I did a dance when i got the email confirming I got invited???? Now look dont judge me the email came while I was venting to Jacob about my evil client so it made me very happy. EEK!!!! I think this is why I dont have many friends cause I am such a dork hahahahaha!!!!! So if anybody is on Pinterest and would like to be my follow me let me know casue I have zero!!!!!

Well its off to work I go and hope yall have a blessed Tuesday and dont have any evil clients trying to ruin your day. Oh which by the way that evil client of mine is here right now. Happy thoughts Nicole!!!!!! No you can not choke him either. hahahahaha!!!! I hope yall know I would never do that but whew I have to admit that I have thought about it.

The New me!!!!!!!

Have you ever felt different but in a good way??? Well these last few months alot has happened in my life good and bad and I felt so overwhelmed til I finally borke down and thought God what are you doing to me. Now today I seat her typing with so much happiness and excitement that once again I feel so overwhelmed that i just want to get up and dance. I love all the changes that has happened and i feel so blessed. I look back to where I was over a month ago and I actually can smile. Now had you asked me a month ago i thought my life was a wreck and that i was a screw up and I wasnt happy at all. BUT YAY!!!!! I made it and it was all worth it. Since then me and the boyfriend decided to lose weight together and so far we are doing great. I have so much energy which i love!!!!!

This past week was super busy but not in a bad way at all Jeremy signed a contract on a house for us so soon we will be moving in together. Emotion overload for me!!! I know alot of people are old fashioned and dont believe in living together til you get married. I use to be that girl to. As i have mentioned in a earlier post I have been married once. It is hard for me to talk about cause I feel like such a failure but I wouldnt be who I am today and I am proud of who I am today. I married young well 20 to be exact after 8 months of dating a guy who was also a year younger than me. I know what your thinking but as the saying goes sometimes people have to learn the hard way. Well people are good at putting up a front and well marriage is not the fairytale like in the movies. Marriage isnt like dating it is something you have to work at every day as a couple. It takes faith, love, trust, and happiness. My first marriage had none of this. Im not gonna sit here and say I did everything right cause I didnt nor did he. After 3 years we signed divorce papers, The year after that I found myself and learned things about myself that I didnt know. I finally grew up!!!!!

I have had to learn alot in life and I have a wall built up!!! I hold on to my past alot because I dont want to forget merely because I dont want to make the same mistake again. This is why me and Jeremy have decided we want to live together before taking that next step to marriage and we are thankful that our parents and family support us in our decision.

Anyways. . . .This weekend was so much fun. Friday night me and Jeremy went to my high schools first home football game and got to see my nephew have so much fun. Saturday we got up and did what we always do on Saturdays we went to the park running then went to subway :) Saturday night we grilled out then me, Jeremy, and Jacob sat around the table listened to music and played cards. We got a few drinks in us and decided we wanted to karooke WOW!!!!! you will def not see us on America Idol hahahahah!!!! But so much fun and alot of laughs and alot of pictures. I would upload pictures but my camera is not cooperating with my computer therefore no pictures. Then Sunday was a lazy movie day and then Big Brother family night. Does anybody else watch big brother??? I absolutely love it and so hooked to it.

Also I am pumped cause this week starts SEC football I am so excited about it. A few weeks ago I posted a dress I had ordered to wear. Well sad to say I shipped that baby back :( it was a lil to tight for my hips and my sisters it made me look all weird. Oh well I am still so excited the first State home game is Sept 15 which I am so excited about EXCEPT that day me and Jeremy will be taking Lizzie to have surgery so I am dreading that day also. It is so funny how a lil four leg dog comes part of you. I love Lizzie so much and cant imagine life without her in it. After a long day at work I cant wait to get home and love on her. Now dont get me wrong there are days where she frustrates me cause she still uses the bathroom inside UGH!!!! and any advice on how to stop this would be very appreciated.

Well its off to finish my work day!!!! I am so into this pinterest I cant wait to get started but Im on the waiting list booooooo.

So what are you looking forward to????

Did yall have a fun filled weekend???

Proud of myself :)

 Calm down now I am still alive :) I am so sorry I havent posted in a week but life happened and I got lazy. I know I am a terrible person and trust me Im going to tell you all about my week. Ok so as I have already stated I know I am not fat but I am not happy with the way I have let my body go. I have become the lazy bum who lays around alot and sleeps alot more. My mom has alot of health issues and it kinda made me realize I wanted to start now being healthier than wait til the doctor says it is life or death.

Anyway. . . .

Last Tuesday I started my new healthy life. I am eating better and exercising and let me tell you the exercising is MUCH harder than the eating better. I have been doing Jillian Michael DVD and all I can say is OUCH!!!! I know its no excuse but thats why I havent blogged cause I been in pain whew and yes I did alot of whining BUT!!!! I did not give up. Yes I am patting myself on the back cause I am so proud of myself. What you want me to repeat that??? I know I know its rare I give myself a compliment but I am so proud of myself. I have worked out everyday except for Friday night and come on this girl is not missing football to work out.

Ok also I read a book. I know your thinking why is this girl exciting about reading a book??? Well I use to love reading but here lately I havent made time to do it. Well this week I did it ( yes Im patting myself on the back again) I read this book.

Loved it I am so glad I picked this book to read cause it was great. I love books where you cant wait to get to the end. I got in the bed late one night and just had to pick up my book well this girl read in the book til 12:30 yes I was not a happy camper at work the next day OOPS :(

I am so pumped for this work week and my new lifestyle I am sure I want always be this excited but I am right now. And plus football in my hometown kicked off this weekend!!!!!!!! I am such a nerd cause I still cheer on my old highschool football team. I am so excited for football and tailgating.

Well I am off to do some work and catch up on some blog reading. Hope ya'll have a great Monday!!!!!! Try to see the good in every situation no matter how crazy life is today, and smile at someone today cause your smile might make their day better.

What is your favorite way to exercise??? well I dont know at the moment but me and Jeremy went to the park walking and jogging and it was nice to be outside even though I thought I was about to die from a heat stroke

What book are you reading now or What book would you recommend to read??

Thankful!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I am watching it rain and its all dark and gloomy : ( As i sit here I got to thinking about how I wished I was home in my bed with a good movie on. Then my mind went into overdrive which if you know me this is something I do alot. I sometimes feel like I am never satisfied in life. If the sun is shining and Im at work Im complaining to myself how I wish I was outside by the pool and well today with the rain I still would rather be somewhere else. I also am constantly downing myself as a person which I shouldnt do at all but I continuelly do it.

I know you are thinking what is this crazy girl getting at?? I just feel like I am a selfish human being when it comes to myself and what I want. No I think I always but others first but Im always complaining. Examples my hair today is a hot mess and I keep looking in the mirror going ugh well I shouldnt be like that cause they is many people who wake up and dont have any hair cause they are battling cancer. Ok another example I look at my skin and think OMG I need to make a tanning appointment cause Im so white. Instead I should be greatful that I can see my skin. I complain every morning for about 15 minutes about what I am going to wear to work and I almost always say I have nothing to wear. Ok my closet is slam full of clothes and there is alot of people that are homeless and dont have nice things.

I know I am not the only one out there who takes things for granted in life but it is not my place to judge others and that is definitely not why I started a blog. I started it to better myself and hopefully find people like myself along the way. I need to start being grateful for what I have and quit complaining so much cause I could def have it so much worst than what I do. I just feel like I am a debbie downer to myself and that I am hindering myself more than others by being like this.

So today I want everyone to know that I am thankful for my life. I have a vehicle that gets me to and from work ( even though it does make strange noises), I have a home to go to everynight and a bed to sleep in ( a very comfy bed at that), I have a cell phone ( an iphone thanks to my boyfriend), I have a family that yes there is times where I wish I could trade them for another family but they are the reason I am here today and the reason I strive to be the best I can be, I have a boyfriend that is God sent cause I am not a easy person to love at times but he never gives up on me, I have a roommate that has been my best friend for 8 years and he always understands me and lets me yell at him when i need to vent and cry when i need to cry, I have my girl Lindsey who she is another one that is God sent cause she has helped me more in the last year than she knows and she always knows how to make me smile, and I have a job that helps me have the material things I have that in the world today alot of people dont have. BUT!!!!!! Most importantly I am thankful that I know God cause if I didnt know him I would be a lost person going down the wrong path and I am thankful that even on my ungrateful days that he still loves me.

So take the time today to be thankful even if it is just to be alive and see another day. Be thankful for what you have cause I promise you when if you made a list out what you have to be thankful for will out weigh the bad in your life. Everyone has problems in life and nobody is perfect but you have to be thankful for what you do have today cause tomorrow it might be gone.

" Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" - Romans 12:21

What are you thankful for today???

Lets Get Ready. . . .

Hey ladies!!! Hope everyone is had a fab Tuesday I know I did and I hope your Wednesday morning is off to a good start. So I am just so happy cause its that time of year again SCHOOL STARTS. Why am I excited about school your asking??? Well I will tell you well and show you. . . . . . .

FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!!!!

Yes I am doing my football dance which is not pretty but thank heavens you cant see me ;) I love football season and yes sorry if I offend anybody but I love my MSU bulldogs. GO STATE!!!!!!!!!! I got my cowbell polished and well my season tickets are collecting dust at the moment. Anyway Im so excited cause I finally found me a maroon dress to wear and it is a state dress. Im scared it might be a lil cheesy : ( but Jeremy assures me that he thinks I will look beautiful in it.

So what do yall think I thought it would look so cute with my boots : ) I am so excited about it. I am just thinking comfy and cool. Cause tailgating all day can get hot. I love the people that we tailgate with cause they are super sweet people and Im so excited about spending days and making more memories with Jeremy. Its so fun that all you have to do is give people a tent and food and whew we have a good old time. I am just sad cause for all those games we have to leave Lizzie behind :(

Fresh Start!!!

Here lately well excuse since January!! I have had alot going on in my life. No ladies I promise I am not going to bore you with every detail of whats been going on plus whew I dont have the energy to tell you everything. Just as alot of being say I been in the dark tunnel but PRAISE the lord I see the light and its not another train coming. Everybody has there times in life when nothing you do or say seems right well that has def been my life. If you have ever been down in the dumps or the dreadful word depressed then you def know how I have been feeling. Well this girl has been sooooo lazy I have not wanted to do anything. I am not by anymeans an organized freak but I do like everything where I want them. Here lately I could care less where my stuff was I would just lay it whereever. I just wanted to be on the couch or in the bed. Well I had another melt down Saturday cause I was so tired again and had not done anything I cried to Jeremy about how I was scared I would never feel normal again. Well ladies I woke up yesterday in full force raring to go. I got so much accomplished yesterday and was so excited that I am slowly getting back to myself. I was so excited that I didnt want to go to sleep cause I was so scared that I wouldnt feel good again today but guess what I do!!!!

Ok so a recap of my weekend. Friday night I fixed fries and we grilled hamburgers after Jeremy made it in. My roomate aka best friend Jacob ( Im going to do a post on him soon I promise) went to help one of his friends move. So me, Jeremy, and Lizzie crawled in the bed and watched the movie Hall Pass. It was a good movie I laughed alot but it had alot of nudity in it. I guess call me crazy but I dont like all that to me if I wanted to see a bunch of nudity I would watch porn. Anyway after the movie we put Lizzie to bed and we went to bed as well. I had a good nights rest or at least I thought I did. I got out of the bed at 10:30 got dressed took Jeremy to the park to run. I had to run some errands, then picked him up and we went and ate subway. This has become our Saturday day habit :) then after subway it was a trip to walmart. Here the last few weeks I have been doing my hair natural curls. With this humidty it is just a waste of time to straighten it cause after I walk outside its frizz central. So I had to go get some more hairspray and curl mouse.  After walmart it was back home and I took a nap. Jeremy, Jacob, and I went out to eat SAturday night then it was back home for a night of family fun. We played skip bo the card game. Sunday morning I woke up feeling like my old self as I have already mention and got so much accomplished. I am super proud of myself!!!! Yes I gave myself mutiple pats on the back. Even finally took the time to give Lizzie a bath which was much over do:(

So to me I had a great weekend!!!! So glad my life is getting back to normal and that I have learned some valuable lessons here lately. Now just hope this week is good one. Monday hasnt been so bad excited about the premiere of Bachelor Pad tonight. Let the drama begin.

My Boyfriend!!!!

YIPEE!!!!! Its finally Friday and Im so excited cause I get to spend 2 full days with my wonderful boyfriend. So todays post I am going to dedicate to that special guy that keeps me smiling. . . well most days hahahaha!!!

Well lets see where to begin,  June 2010 was a time in my life where I was just having fun it was a year since my divorce ( yes I am 25 years old and already been through a divorce) but that will be a different post. Anyway I had wrote off true love I thought I was suppose to alone the rest of my life ( I know silly) well on June 14 I had a friend request on facebook that changed my life. YEP!!! Jeremy sent me a friend request.Did I know him??? I had no clue who he was hahaha!!! All I did know was we had one mutual friend that just happened to be one of my best guy friends. So acourse I called my friend up and asked who this jerk was trying to add me as a friend. My friend assured me that Jeremy was not a jerk. So I finally excepted his friend request. We talked on facebook for a lil bit then finally exchanged numbers and decided we would go out on a date. Our first date was the best first date I have ever been on he was such a gentleman and he even OPENED MY DOORS!!!! Ok to some people this prob isnt a big deal but to me it was casue in Mississippi no guy does that. Well except for my Jeremy.After that first date I was hooked, I just hated that we only got to spend the weekends together cause we live about 35 minutes apart, and well with his job he was up at 4 and didnt get off til 6.

The next 6 months were like any other relationship. On News Years, Jeremy took me to Atlanta, GA and we had so much fun I really enjoyed it there especially the outlet stores;) On New Years Eve, we were getting ready to go see Zac Brown Band in concert and Jeremy suprised me with a heart key necklace and told me that he loved me for the first time!!!! Yes he didnt tell me he loved me til we had been dating 6 months. It was a very special moment to me cause all the guys in my past would tell me they loved me after a few weeks of dating then a week later dump me. So Jeremy waiting 6 months to tell me meant so much cause I knew it was REAL LOVE!!!!! Now our relationship is no fairy tale we have our share of ups and downs BUT it all is worth it to me. Love is about finding that one that is worth the fights, the hurtful words, and the tears. Believe me he is my ANGEL!!!! God sent him to me. I have changed in the last year in ways I didnt know a person could change. I am much stronger and believe in myself more today than I did a year ago.

Its amazing how your life can change in the blink of an eye and it steadily changes everyday. I just sometimes have to sit down and take it all in. We all take life for granted and are so easy to give up. I know I had already giving up last year til Jeremy came into my life. Now a year later I know that true love does exsist and that I will not be alone. So dont ever give up on anything just turn it over to God and be patient.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and when life gets overwhelming and you just want to scream or cry. Remember what you have to be thankful for!!!!!

ITS HUMP DAY!!!!!!!!

Well I am sooooo tired this morning cause as I said yesterday I went and spent some time with my nephew while my sister and her hubby hada night out. Well this girly didnt get home to my bed til 1. Lets just say this girl is looking a hot mess today and going all natural. Hair is curly and no makeup awe hairness. Hope nobody comes in to see me today.

Anyway I so love Wednesday for so many reasons:
                               1. BIG BROTHER ( except when i watch i always want to punch Rachel in the nose)
                               2. ITS ALMOST FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!! ( which means time spent with my love)
                               3. JEREMY COMES DOWN TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

I am not the best at writing down feelings but its why I wanted to start a blog cause there is so much I am scared of in life and opening up about my past and my feelings is def at the top of the list. I have noticed on the blogs that I do read that people have the about me section. So I just decided to do a blog cause whew bare with me Im taking baby steps. If I could describe myself in one word it would be worrier!!!  But now dont give up on me yet I just said if I could only have one word but thank goodness I get more than that. I am a very tender hearted person who let people run over me alot. I am one of those people that HATES telling people no. I don't like people mad at me and dont like it when I have to hurt someones feeling. I also hate confrontation. Whew just thinking about that word makes me nervous. I didnt have the childhood that alot of people get to have. When I got to the age where I wanted to learn about makeup and hair my mom was diagnosed with stage 2 ovarian cancer. My sister was in her first year of college and my dad worked all the time. So I had to become the woman of the house and took care of my mom. My mom got better then it was like my family became a domino effect. You know what i mean its like when one falls then they all start falling. My life hasnt been the same since when my girlfriends were off having fun I was working trying to pay bills. I fight everyday to be a better person. I dont want to be like my parents. I want a family!!!! I want a close family one that nothing can tear apart.

Well I think that is enough of that part of me now for the good in me. I am a very outgoing person alot of people say I always have a smile on my face and always making people smile. My thing is as long as I smile the world will smile with me therefore I am able to forget hurtful things. I love making people laugh. I just recently took up cooking and I fully enjoy it who knew that making a mess would be relaxing. I never knew that I would be able to cook I thought that was something moms taught there girls. Thank GOD!!!! for google. I was always the girl that wore tshirts, jeans, flip flops, and hair in ponty tail until here in the last 2 years I have found a fashion for style I love love love dresses. Am I up to date on style??? ummmm no I still need a personal assistant but I am getting there. I love wearing makeup now (ok today doesnt count) and love fixing my hair even though I am not the best at it. Thanks to youtube for all the tutorials on hair.

Anyway thats why I picked my title. I just want to get to that place in my life where I feel normal. I can hang out with a girlfriend and her not be embarrassed cause she is dolled up and I look out of date. I missed alot growing up and I want to quit dwelling on the past and live now in the moment. I am trying to move forward Im tired of being in the background wishes things were different. Hope I can make some friends along the way to take my new journey with me cause I am excited and I know my past happened for a reason. I have lost friends and been burned but every step of the way God has been with me I just ignored him at times.

My Worst Enemy. . . .

I am my own worst enemy!!!! In the past few months I have been trying to make changes in my life cause I was tired of complaining about things but NEVER wanted to do anything about it. I thought I was ridiculous for all these feelings I had until I got introduced to the blog world and started reading. WOW!!! I realized I am not ridiculous cause people actually have my thoughts. SCARY to me that people actually think like me but I love it!!! So I just wanted to share some of the things I have changed in the past few months before the blog world. I have lost 10 lbs. YIPEE!!!!! ( yes my head is swelling) How did I do this you ask??? Ok dont laugh I cut out eating fast food. I was addicted. . . Like ate it for breakfast, lunch, and supper. I also cut out drinking caffeine 20 times a day ( yes Im exaggerating) So now I am actually cooking for myself which means I have only burnt food maybe 10 times hahahaha Im a work in progress and now I am a water drinker. I am so very proud of myself I made a plan and I have stuck to it. Now I hope to gradually get better. Its so amazing how me just cutting out two things in my life how I feel better about myself.

Ok ok . . . .Enough of the bragging on myself. The Bachlorette last night???? So am I the only person that is so shocked by her decision?? I so loved Ben and I guess I felt so sorry for him cause of his dad. Yes I cried alot as you get to know me better you will realize I cry at everything. I mean I even cry watching the Transformer movies. . . . yeah who does that??? ME!!!!! My boyfriend and room mate are constantly laughing at me.

Well I am off to get some work done and so excited cause tonight I get to spend some time with my favorite lil guy in the whole word. Meet my nephew Conner. He is three going on 13. He definitely has me wrapped though. I wish I had more time with him.

Isnt he adorable???

Do any of you cry alot??

What did yall think about the Ashley choice?? Did you like JP or Ben??

Famous in a Small Town

Alot has been going on lately somedays I feel like I just want to bury myself in the covers and never see daylight. UGH and I hate that feeling. I like to think its because I live in a small town where everybody knows everybody therefore everybody GOSSIPS!!!!! Living here all my life you would think I would be use to this but how can anyone get use to this??? If I was to go to Walmart and not be dressed like someone thought I should well guess what everyone would talk about me. I just sometimes dont understand why everyone feels the need to talk about everybody elses problems. Maybe I am just getting older and my hormones are getting the best of me or maybe I am wanted to live a fairytale life that does not exsist. I would just like to go out to eat with my boyfriend or friends and not have to have the fear of somebody judging me for the dress I have on or that my hair isnt styled the way someone likes. I think I let my nerves and worrying get the best of me sometimes ACTUALLY I rephrase that I KNOW I do!!!!

Today is August 1 and I have so much I want to accomplish this month, I am my own worst enemy and I usually put alot on my plate so this month I want to make small changes and set small goal therefore hopefully I will accomplish them. So I am hoping that I can at least get two days in a week of exercise and get one of my new books read.

I left yall last post with a picture of my baby Lizzie. So thought I would let yall meet the love of my life and the reason I have a smile on my face so much. My boyfriend:)

We have been dating over a year now which is so hard for me to believe. He is the best ever especially cause he has to put up with me hahahaha. Relationships are def full of ups and downs but its finding that person who is worth every second of it and I have def found my special someone. Hope everyones Monday has been great so far!!!

Do you live in a small town and if so do you feel like me??? or do you live in a big city and if so is it the same way????