Life seems unfair at times and if you have been reading my blog you have prob thought this girl has problems. I do not think I have problems but I think I am human. Some people only but the good on their blogs I started this blog to help document the struggles of life that I am going through. These last few months have been so tough in ever aspect of my life from trying to become healthier, over coming my past, embracing the future, being honest with myself, and just learning about who I am. Well the last two weeks I have been helping Jeremy move into his first home or as he says our first home. It is so exciting but acourse it caused me alot of fear to. I have never lived anywhere except Carthage. For 25 years I have lived here and now in the next month or 2, I will be packing up and moving to Kosciusko to start the next chapter in my life with Jeremy. I have always said I wanted to move away but now that it is here I am kinda nervous but excited. Make Sense??? We have been working so hard on getting the house like we want it and it is already starting to feel like home to me.
Always while I was away I realized life is going to happen no matter what and although God doesnt answer me right when I want him to it is ok cause he is still there with me. I have had a hard time here lately in my relationship with God. I just have felt like Why???? God what are you doing?!?!?! It has made me question alot. I know I am embarrassed for doing this but I know I am not the only one that has strayed away at times. God is good all the time it is just sometimes we refuse to see the good. We all as himans are very selfish human beings. I catch myself being well I this and I that. I have spent so long hurt cause I didnt have this and I dont have that. So what if my family isnt close and we dont spend holidays together. Yes it stinks but I have food to eat on those holidays and I have nice clothes. I wish i had more real friends I get on blogger and see everybody talking about all there friends and I feel like a loser cause I dont have alot. Oh well I need to be thankful for the few true friends I have and that i know are there for me. Jeremy and I wish we had a couple to go out with sometime but we dont right and oh well we should be greatful that we have single friends that like hanging out with our boring butts. We all as humans forget on a day to day basis just how lucky we truely are and all the good we have. Why do we always have to want and wish??? I sometimes feel like I want and wish for more than I am happy.
These last two weeks with the new house and alone time with Jeremy which we havent had the whole time we been dating has been the best. Ihave smiled and laughed and made memories. I have actually enjoyed life and not worried about the what if. For me this is a big accomplishment!!! I might wake up tomorrow worrying about life again but at least I can say the last two weeks has been worry free just me being myself and not caring what anybody else thought.
On a funny note this morning I look like rudolph the red nose reindeer. On Saturday, we headed to starkville to watch State play South Carolina. Well it was a lil hot and the sun was beaming down and unfortunatley my nose was the only place on my face that got blistered. I know people want to laugh at me when they see me cause I look in the mirror and laugh. I know its not christmas yet but I have been singing rudolph hahaha.
Sorry for no pictures from this weekend but I charged my camera battery friday night and well left it at home therfore had a camera that didnt work. Hope everyone has been doing good and hope your off to a wonderful Monday
Always while I was away I realized life is going to happen no matter what and although God doesnt answer me right when I want him to it is ok cause he is still there with me. I have had a hard time here lately in my relationship with God. I just have felt like Why???? God what are you doing?!?!?! It has made me question alot. I know I am embarrassed for doing this but I know I am not the only one that has strayed away at times. God is good all the time it is just sometimes we refuse to see the good. We all as himans are very selfish human beings. I catch myself being well I this and I that. I have spent so long hurt cause I didnt have this and I dont have that. So what if my family isnt close and we dont spend holidays together. Yes it stinks but I have food to eat on those holidays and I have nice clothes. I wish i had more real friends I get on blogger and see everybody talking about all there friends and I feel like a loser cause I dont have alot. Oh well I need to be thankful for the few true friends I have and that i know are there for me. Jeremy and I wish we had a couple to go out with sometime but we dont right and oh well we should be greatful that we have single friends that like hanging out with our boring butts. We all as humans forget on a day to day basis just how lucky we truely are and all the good we have. Why do we always have to want and wish??? I sometimes feel like I want and wish for more than I am happy.
These last two weeks with the new house and alone time with Jeremy which we havent had the whole time we been dating has been the best. Ihave smiled and laughed and made memories. I have actually enjoyed life and not worried about the what if. For me this is a big accomplishment!!! I might wake up tomorrow worrying about life again but at least I can say the last two weeks has been worry free just me being myself and not caring what anybody else thought.
On a funny note this morning I look like rudolph the red nose reindeer. On Saturday, we headed to starkville to watch State play South Carolina. Well it was a lil hot and the sun was beaming down and unfortunatley my nose was the only place on my face that got blistered. I know people want to laugh at me when they see me cause I look in the mirror and laugh. I know its not christmas yet but I have been singing rudolph hahaha.
Sorry for no pictures from this weekend but I charged my camera battery friday night and well left it at home therfore had a camera that didnt work. Hope everyone has been doing good and hope your off to a wonderful Monday
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