Well I am sooooo tired this morning cause as I said yesterday I went and spent some time with my nephew while my sister and her hubby hada night out. Well this girly didnt get home to my bed til 1. Lets just say this girl is looking a hot mess today and going all natural. Hair is curly and no makeup awe hairness. Hope nobody comes in to see me today.
Anyway I so love Wednesday for so many reasons:
1. BIG BROTHER ( except when i watch i always want to punch Rachel in the nose)
2. ITS ALMOST FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!! ( which means time spent with my love)
3. JEREMY COMES DOWN TONIGHT!!!!!!!!
I am not the best at writing down feelings but its why I wanted to start a blog cause there is so much I am scared of in life and opening up about my past and my feelings is def at the top of the list. I have noticed on the blogs that I do read that people have the about me section. So I just decided to do a blog cause whew bare with me Im taking baby steps. If I could describe myself in one word it would be worrier!!! But now dont give up on me yet I just said if I could only have one word but thank goodness I get more than that. I am a very tender hearted person who let people run over me alot. I am one of those people that HATES telling people no. I don't like people mad at me and dont like it when I have to hurt someones feeling. I also hate confrontation. Whew just thinking about that word makes me nervous. I didnt have the childhood that alot of people get to have. When I got to the age where I wanted to learn about makeup and hair my mom was diagnosed with stage 2 ovarian cancer. My sister was in her first year of college and my dad worked all the time. So I had to become the woman of the house and took care of my mom. My mom got better then it was like my family became a domino effect. You know what i mean its like when one falls then they all start falling. My life hasnt been the same since when my girlfriends were off having fun I was working trying to pay bills. I fight everyday to be a better person. I dont want to be like my parents. I want a family!!!! I want a close family one that nothing can tear apart.
Well I think that is enough of that part of me now for the good in me. I am a very outgoing person alot of people say I always have a smile on my face and always making people smile. My thing is as long as I smile the world will smile with me therefore I am able to forget hurtful things. I love making people laugh. I just recently took up cooking and I fully enjoy it who knew that making a mess would be relaxing. I never knew that I would be able to cook I thought that was something moms taught there girls. Thank GOD!!!! for google. I was always the girl that wore tshirts, jeans, flip flops, and hair in ponty tail until here in the last 2 years I have found a fashion for style I love love love dresses. Am I up to date on style??? ummmm no I still need a personal assistant but I am getting there. I love wearing makeup now (ok today doesnt count) and love fixing my hair even though I am not the best at it. Thanks to youtube for all the tutorials on hair.
Anyway thats why I picked my title. I just want to get to that place in my life where I feel normal. I can hang out with a girlfriend and her not be embarrassed cause she is dolled up and I look out of date. I missed alot growing up and I want to quit dwelling on the past and live now in the moment. I am trying to move forward Im tired of being in the background wishes things were different. Hope I can make some friends along the way to take my new journey with me cause I am excited and I know my past happened for a reason. I have lost friends and been burned but every step of the way God has been with me I just ignored him at times.
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